Survive The Night Review Notes

The Bitch is back, baby. Weekly reviews since mid-August now, Tingle Tuesdays verging on its third week, and Fanfiction Fridays starting up soon? Why not toss another weekly thing on myself! Fridays will also have me releasing one book/story/fanfiction's review notes. These are the notes I jot while reading so I can come up with a review.
THERE ARE SPOILERS. Especially in the first few of these.

Watch the review on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVuEKiUhIFc

Oh goodie. We open with exposition by the ton. At least it’s done a bit less cliché, well, except for the main character deciding to look in a damn mirror for description.
Oh goodie. It’s druggie Bella Swan. Casey Myrtle, who wears a turtle necklace.
Ex
Po
Si
Tion
I don’t give a fuck about these girls and I’m like 90% sure they’re not gonna matter after the beginning here.
Casey is an idiot, calling it now (page 5)
Why is “The Merciless” on the back cover?
Instantly dates itself by mentioning The Voice. Don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad one.
The teen dialogue is believable. Vega understands how teens act, at least.
Shana: This show is the crap that crap craps out.
I like Shana.
Shana is obviously seen as a BAD GIRL™ and therefore must be ULTRA stereotype.
Page 21. “Fuck” is uttered. Perhaps there is hope for this one yet.
Danielle Vega’s stuff is oddly steeped in religious stuff. Not really weird, but odd to see in mainstream fiction.
Shana is Eviscerus wrapped in Ash’s mannerisms. (things that won’t make sense to most of the world haha)
Casey is in love with a band member in the worst named band I’ve ever heard of. “Feelings Are Enough.”
The dude named his riding lawnmower “Matilda.”
And hope is lost for Shana with one hokey speech.
There’s a rave called “Survive The Night.” And people atend it. Ooooooh so scare. *eyeroll*
So… this book is about stupid kids.
Casey is thinking with her dick.
I will give Vega this much: She does write an interesting, if cliché and trope-y, story.
Casey thinking with her dick immediately backfires. Shock, surprise.
Man cannot live on bread alone, Casey.
What about pancakes? (Page 67)
P69 they decide to be stupid for really reals.
We’re trapped down here until 5AM. Oh yeah. So cool. Best. Rave. EVER!!!
They play messy twister. Is this really what raves are like?
Feelings Are Enough is seriously the dumbest band name omfg
Oh good, Casey is drugged.
Because she was thinking with her dick.
Shana is a cunt. Shana drugged her.
I still love Shana.
She’s on acid or something.
Oh shit she’s drugged and just found her dead friend.
YAY GRAPHIC GORE
I LOVE HOW GRAPHIC VEGA’S WRITING GETS.
Oh shit, was it a hallucination? Did I get trolled by a book?
I STILL think Sam’s behind it.
Is Julie dead now or nah?
So graphic. Love it. Love.
She dead.
Omfg what cunts. Both Sam and Shana.
Wowwwwww. Casey has some terrible luck. She is hella unlucky when it comes to finding bodies.
They’re STILL fucked. They found a door filled with rats.
Aya got Darth Maul’d.
What the fuck.
I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going. (Page 198)
RIP in peace, Woody
And Shana’s dead
And Sam is too
Oh shit. Shana zombambo’d
Casey’s friendsies with Madison again?

Don't Read John Green's The Fault In Our Stars

Just don't read it.
You will fall in love.
You will find yourself falling in love with the characters. And then it happens.

And then you'll sob.


So if you value your emotional health, don't read TFIOS.
But-

If you're in the mood for a good cry and have a weekend to yourself, read it. Read it and sob and laugh and anguish over the whole thing's existence.

On Books I Never Finished Reading

I know there are a lot of purists out there that would insist that, in order to review a book, one must FINISH the book first. Quite obviously, based on my videos and textual reviews, I don't agree. I believe that one should finish the book if, and only if, it's actually interesting and actually compels one to continue on.
Having said that, it should be noted that I always attempt to finish a book before I finish a review. In some cases, however, this proves impossible. It's just how I am. I'll start reading a book, get halfway through, and declare it uninteresting and on my bookshelf (or iPad) it'll sit until I go to make room for new purchases.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was one such book. I got it on its release date and devoured PRECISELY half of it in about three hours, went to bed, woke up, and stuck it on the bookshelf after trying to read about four more pages and finding it completely uninteresting to me. And I had been enthralled just a few hours before.
Unfortunately, I know that I will be reading the entire books for at least the next five reviews.
But I also don't plan to hold back on the next five reviews.
Should start preliminary script writing for the Twilight review here in the next few hours. I anticipate this video to be a minimum of 15 minutes (script will be posted here for those too lazy to watch the video on youtube. Video may also be embedded here, haven't decided.) to a possible maximum of 45 minutes, depending on how in-depth I decide to get with my attack review

Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland

I'm not generally the type to read mommy porn, or really any porn at all. I prefer stories that don't revolve around sex, but when I found this for free on Amazon one day, I decided to download it.
I will be posting the review video sometime in the next 12 hours.
Initial reactions? This book is really hot, but I'm not sure I would have paid money for it. There's a lot of little spelling and punctuation errors.

Hey, y'all! I'm the Book Bitch

Yes. The one from youtube. 

I started doing this because I've found myself stumbling upon so many, many bad indie books that I didn't want others to have the same issue. So I figured, hey. I can review indie books and let people know the honest truth on whether something is readable or not. 

I've decided I shall also have a weekly blog entry detailing my latest haul of free and almost free e-books and what I'm currently reading. This will aid in filling the gaps when I can't upload a video for whatever reason.

Please do follow my blog and comment. I'll reply, I promise.

Oh and please recommend books to me. I'll read whatever you tell me to. 

My only constraints are these:

It must be a self-published book (No publisher but the author).

It must cost under $2.99.

It must be available on Amazon or Smashwords.